December 12, 2021
Well, now we must wait until the dream does not get better myself themselves. Do not worry! Insomnia is like tedium: she's here, only to retreat. It will remain only as long as get stronger desire for sleep. So the best way to help sleep is not to interfere with sleep, committed to it, drink it as a presentation to the cup. It is best to forget that time or even a long time to sleep, not thinking about my insomnia, about its possible consequences, etc., and frankly, and immediately surrender contents life which intrudes to us and banish sleep. Let him come, he wants to, let unravel the whole ball of ideas and affects. Rest of the world can sleep.
I give my insomnia and its hidden content for which y I have "no time" during the day. I was alone with him Since insomnia brings me a second gift – the ability to endure loneliness. Where all left me where all withdrawing into itself, forget the whole world and me, where I was all alone, to himself, lying down and I am sure that I am only able to help themselves – starting unusual, cut off a tense life. This life is often too hard to become boring, on the contrary, it is often so unexpected and striking, that in me waking up this curiosity, and often so full of meaning, that I feel like a stern school of loneliness, independence and self-control. Oh, how many people in the world who are just sleepless nights for the first time felt and understood their emotional and spiritual loneliness, but this seems so inconsolable loneliness cried to God in the heavens and found it! Because he is closest to the insomnia. Where life seems completely inconsolable, as soon as there is a consolation.
Where seemingly gibnesh in his loneliness, the easiest way to find God. And this is certainly the noblest comfort and the most valuable gift And now – the third precious gift of insomnia. In the night waking you learn to think and listen to the hidden meanings of their own unconscious and caches. And not only the grief and insults waking day, but also the errors, sins and wounds kept secret I – am. And not only them but also holy and healing rays of light of conscience. For nothing is so and so has not destined for the perception of light rays as the twilight state of gloom insomnia. Where the daylight faded and the light of consciousness where they can accumulate and increase the ability to perceive the internal rays, and where a grim picture of everyday life pining for a new, ineffable light Oh, there are so many people who only survived the sleepless nights, enlightening the benefit of any crisis of conscience and healing blessings of repentance, a lonely, bitter, reconciling remorse! Is not this precious gift? Is not it a comfort that emerged from Desolation? Tell if the cowardly people who try to avoid these gifts, and this solace and resorting to appear this morning for fear of "pale" to drugs? Insomnia has taught us courage. Courage to face of nature, to ourselves, to their own conscience. Courage to stay alone, and paying tribute to prayer. This is her final gift, and her best consolation.